The key to ethics is in actually having them; in other words, an internal code that guides us in our external relations. This, as opposed to perfunctorily obeying an externally imposed standard. . Ethical behavior is characterized by wholeness or integrity in which there is no contradiction between the inner person and his outer actions. Ethical behavior is a living process for the individual moving toward congruency of values and behavior, and harmony between self and others. In her book, The Ethics of Caring, Kylea Taylor says, "We all have to dive into our own well to reach the underground river that connects all sources of water." Our ethics are an indicator of our collective ideals, reflecting our beliefs, fears and desires as a society. This interplay between values and actions acknowledges the existence of a "web of life" interconnecting us all at different levels of community and with the environment. Ultimately, ethics transcend to the level of spirituality, to a global awareness. What higher expression than seeing the divine in our brothers and sisters and wishing to preserve that? In practicing ahimsa, the Indian principle of harmlessness? In resolving never to violate another being in any way? Kylea Taylor gives us this definition: "Ethical behavior is reverence for life demonstrated by right relationship to another."

In the context of aquatic bodywork, ethics are those rules or agreements that support the sacred healing space for the benefit of clients and for the profession within the framework of society. We see ethics in terms of appropriate practitioner and instructor behavior, particularly in relation to clients and students. Ethics tend to be more universal than personal, grappling with the questions of right and wrong.

Boundaries are personal and subject to change, as they are the border between comfort and discomfort. For a practitioner they are an expression of self love whereby she ensures that she will feel safe and be treated with respect while working. In this respect, they can be defined in terms of acceptable client behavior in relation to the practitioner. It is extremely important in this work that we are sensitive to clients’ boundaries. The intimate nature of Watsu makes it possible to easily and inadvertently cross boundaries if we relate without mindfulness.

Not infrequently in sessions, the receiver feels nurtured, supported, and loved as she has only dreamed. Her heart is open and she tastes something powerful beyond her previous experience with this beautiful and sensitive person! The romantic myth of western culture has been triggered! Practically a religion in itself, it runs like this: there is one other person, our twin soul, our other half at the moment of our celestial creation who we must find in this life, who is our destiny and with whom we can love and grow together, even unto the gates of Heaven. It is easy for the practitioner to appear in this space for receivers, for our expression is pure and of our highest octave as we channel and hold a heart space. The receiver might perceive us otherwise if she had a more rounded picture of who we are. Witnessing my reaction to the accidental deletion of a long, irreplaceable computer file, for instance, would guarantee the shattering of any such idealization!

Transference is a term from psychology denoting when a patient begins to relate to therapist as a parent or other authority figure from the past. It occurs in Watsu therapy when earlier states, those of the womb, infancy and childhood, are evoked. As the receiver regresses, the giver is experienced as parent, grandparent, or other caregiver from the past. If this perception lingers on after the session, the client may be vulnerable to exploitation, owing to the unequal balance of power between child and parent, a given in such a relation. Especially in the case of victims of abuse, any confusion on the practitioner’s part in friendship with such clients could perpetuate an extremely negative pattern and even destroy the client’s chances of ever reaching solid ground.

The phenomenon of counter-transference also occurs regularly in this work. . Held opposite our heart, the body of the receiver assumes positions of innocence, surrender and sensuality. She may enter non-ordinary states, magnetic and beautiful to behold. Her essence of being irradiates the giver. Small wonder then, that as we channel love, we can temporarily fall in love with the receiver. If this should happen, we must be mindful enough to recognize it, and accept the feeling without guilt. However, we want to avoid expanding into feelings of attraction on the personal level. Keeping "on course" during the session is essential. By focusing our breath and energies into our heart we return to center. In the wake of such experiences, we appreciate the importance of having a circle of trusted colleagues with whom we can discuss sessions and gain perspective.

It is okay to have weight and size limits for receivers and decline to work with people who exceed them. Now that we have the wrap around floats and the noodle, even big men can float like women. A large person, however, no matter how well "floated", can be cumbersome and stressful to Watsu, especially for small statured women in water that is too deep. Just say no, my associate, Hugo, will be happy to accommodate you.

Clients are going to hug us during Watsus. The motivation can be pure, part of the process occasioned by the session: the inner child needing closeness, wanting to express its love, or afraid and holding on for security. An embrace can come from the adult mind, as well, a passing expression of gratitude or in reaction to the pain of loneliness. Such hugs tend to come and go as the movement flow carries the feeling flow onward. Hugs with an erotic content are acting out and not in the client’s best interest to indulge. Our attunement to the client will inform as to the underlying motivation and show us how to proceed—to allow or to discourage.

At times it will seem partner’s near arm is behaving contrary to the laws of hydrodynamics, and indeed it is. Unwanted caresses are an experience most practitioners must undergo at one time or another. The nature of the male-female dichotomy is that men will rarely feel threatened by such a violation of their person by a woman. The reverse, however, in which a man touches, grabs or gropes a female practitioner’s body can be most unpleasant and frightening, even. It is one of the most challenging circumstances in all of Watsu in which to stay out of judgment. If we slip into anger, fear or withdrawal, our usefulness to the client is reduced to nil. We need to re-center and redirect the receiver’s energies toward self-awareness. In a few paragraphs, we’ll read how to deal with this situation.

Why can’t erections be there when we want them and disappear when we don’t? As elusive, intimidating and ill-timed as they can be, erections can also be an innocent phenomenon of male physiology. For instance, men experience periodic erections during sleep and often awaken in the morning with an erection, ready to propagate the species, whether they are in the mood or not. The kundalini energy, when it begins to move, may appear as an erection. Men may have erections as part of a full body expression of pleasure with no fantasizing or sexual intention at all. An erection may be completely undesired, more embarrassing to its owner than to any observer. So, women, we need not necessarily take erections personally and feel violated. If we are uncomfortable, though, it's certainly okay to have a boundary there and pause or even end a session. If we choose to continue in the presence of an erection, notice if the receiver appears to be uncomfortable or not. If so, we might want to submerge the hips out of sight of observers in the pool and consider switching to another move from the one immediately preceding the erection. Focusing our attention on and giving bodywork to another part of the receiver’s body can help to redirect the flow of energy for him.

As important as knowing our boundaries is our ability to express them when it matters. We clarify boundaries in the wording of our advertising, in the choice of publications in which it appears; in our intake questionnaires, and in our verbal explanation of the nature of the client-therapist relation. Using the words "non-sexual" and "theraputic" to describe the work is a clear communication. Direct eye contact and unambiguous body language also convey inner clarity. Despite the best of presentations, we may still need to draw boundaries during a session—the male psyche is drawn to the forbidden and to test limits. Here are some "field-proven" techniques which progress from graceful implication to direct communication, all without making the receiver wrong. It is better to communicate immediately than to tolerate an uncomfortable situation in the hope it will go away.

1. Silently remove that wandering, offending, groping hand.
2. Switch to a new position.
3. Lift the head out of the water for a conference: "Name of client, can you hear me? You don't need to give back to me. You'll get more from the session by simply receiving. Okay?"
4. Second conference: "Name of client, can you hear me? It's not okay with me for you to touch me. I'm not comfortable with you touching my breast/butt/genitals. (Do name the body part.) Okay?"
5. A final conference: ""Name of client, can you hear me? If you continue to caress me, I'm going to have to stop the session. Do you understand?" This gives a choice and a consequence. We relate to the receiver as an adult, not as a naughty child. We don’t want to make him wrong.
6. If after all this, our client persists in a behavior we are uncomfortable with, feel free to bring him to the wall and say: "The session is over."
7. If we feel secure within clear boundaries, we can assist a client. Instead of panicking when something happens, we can talk about it: "Name of client, can you hear me? I notice you reaching for me. What do you think that reaching could be about? Who or what are you really reaching for?" To see a behavior as important, possibly a key to an issue, is to serve our client and hold a space for expanded awareness.
8. A client becoming amorous at the end of a session is another situation we occasionally encounter. Clarity in self, in our intention, and in the energy we put out normally prevents awkward situations. If they continue to happen, there may be something there to look at. By going verbal with such a person we direct him toward awareness, rather than supporting a feeling flow; words derail the feeling process. How can we relate in such a moment? Here is a model:

a) Reflect

b) Inform and help understand

c) Draw a boundary

Here is how it might play out with a client who refuses to release us from a hug or is telling us how very beautiful we are: